The Cave
Parkour
Fitness Evolved
Gymnastics
Weight Lifting

The Cave Blog

Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Save the 10s

Saturday, May 11th, 2013

Some of you might be wondering what that strange metal ring is doing in the clip bucket.  Well, last weekend somebody killed another one of our 10lb plates, and that’s a reminder.  Please be gentle with the smaller plates.

Prevent ten-icide.  Thanks.

Workout for May 11, 2013:

A) 10-10-10 good mornings / 10-10-10 Turkish sit-ups / 10-10-10 single-leg Romainian deadlift

B) 10 minutes partner shoulder mobility

C) Veterans: 7-minute EMOM 8 kettlebell swings / 3 handstand push-ups; Newbies:10-minutes: Practice WOD movements

D) For time: 15 shoulder press/ 30 double-unders / 30 squats/15 push-press/30 double-unders / 30 squats/ 15 push jerk (50/35kg), 30 double-unders / 30 squats.  9-minute cut-off.

Sh–STUFF CrossFit Girls Say

Saturday, May 4th, 2013

So, Martin H. pointed this out to me a couple of months ago.  It’s not vulgar, but it isn’t exactly politically correct.  Enjoy.

Workout for May 4, 2013

A) Practice WOD movements.

B) Shoulder Mobility

C) Partner “Championship Fight Gone Bad”: 5 cycles of 1-minute rounds of: Wall Ball (20#/10′ / 14#/9′), Sumo Deadlift High Pull (35/25kg), Box Jumps (24/20″), push-press (35/25kg), row for calories.

Note: This is to be done in teams of two, partners switch as needed.  Unlike regular Fight Gone Bad, there is no programmed rest in this workout.

Confirmed: Amanda N. is a Robot

Monday, April 1st, 2013

The following Article from The Spelunker Daily appeared in this morning’s paper.

Amanda, shortly after tearing off a piece of her face.

Amanda, shortly after tearing off a piece of her face.

Corte Madera, CA - Sunday 3pm- Nobody was all that surprised when Amanda Norton, 27, tore her face off after doing 97 repetitions in workout 13.4, and revealed the cybernetic components, much like those designed by tech conglomerate Skynet, hidden beneath her flesh.

“I mean duh,” said bystander Bill Berry. “When Amanda pulled her face off, I don’t think I even blinked an eye. To be honest. I was kind of relieved. I mean, have you seen her do push jerks? They’re inhuman.”

According to Bryan Oki, he and a few trainers and athletes were just sitting around the gym talking about how to optimize the cycle rate of toes to bar, when Amanda, let out a piercing battle cry, peeled the skin off her face, held it over her head like the scalp of vanquished foe, and exposed herself to be a cyborg.

“There was a gasp or two,” Bryan says, “But I’m sure it was that people were offended Amanda hadn’t come out sooner. We all knew. She wasn’t fooling anybody. I remember I said to myself, ‘Yep. There’s that. Amanda Norton is a robot sent from the future to destroy CrossFit workouts.’ It was simple as that. I didn’t feel much either away. We shared a salad later.”

In the next few weeks, based on the number of CrossFit workouts Amanda has “Killed” in the past, sources close to her say not a single person will be surprised to find out she is a robot. The one current point of contention is on the subject of Amanda’s robot model. Some believe she is an 800 series terminator, others a T - 1000. One thing we do know, is Amanda’s hydrogen fuel cell is showing no sign of damage and will undoubtedly power her through the CrossFit Open’s last workout to a stellar finish.

You Think Some of Our Exercises Are Weird?

Saturday, March 9th, 2013

I’ve been doing a lot of extra work scouring the internet for substantive and intelligent articles and videos, but occasionally I find things that are so terribly bad that I have to share them.

Bryan O. sent me this in an e-mail suggesting that we do a calf development phase based on this video.

I assume he was joking.

DogFit

Sunday, February 17th, 2013

I know The Cave is full of dog lovers, some of whom bring their dogs in/around the gym.

This is for you:

People with Superpowers

Saturday, February 16th, 2013

Martin H. suggested I share this link with you guys.  It’s a Cracked.com article on “Real People with Superpowers.”

The fittest man on earth also has superpowers.

The fittest man on earth also has superpowers.

For those of you not familiar with Cracked.com’s style, while not necessarily highly vulgar, they do have a a propensity toward some foul language.  Honestly, it’s mostly just that the authors are so amazed by what they’re writing about that they can’t help it.  Really, how else do you express how incredible it is that there are human beings that can do this stuff?

Their list includes a man who cannot be electrocuted, a guy who can run forever, two guys with perfect memories, a man who is immune to cold, and a person with superhuman reflexes (he’s on my zombie apocalypse team).

Stuff like this just goes to show you the incredible potential of our species.

One Grain More

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

For those of you limiting your exposure to grains, or with food allergies, here’s a light-hearted take on the issue.  Parody of “One Day More” from Les Misérables.

Gentlemen…

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

I know that there are still a couple of you who work out with the express intent of being attractive to the opposite sex.  There’s nothing wrong with that, everybody has to have a goal.

So, for the gentlemen out there, I present,

HOW TO PICK UP A GIRL IN THE GYM:

Good luck.

Some New Equipment, a Little Remodeling and Murphy’s Law

Friday, September 7th, 2012

I meant to post this last Friday night, but since most our staff, including myself, were up most of the night working on improvements to The Cave,  I simply ran out of gas and had to go to sleep.  (Just as well, though, because now I can include in the blog post what happened on the very next day, less than 12 hours later, which considering the circumstances is at least as comical as it is tragic.)  Check out these picture of our diligent staff working on the new look of our office area:

Russ, JB, Amy, Tom Hutchman, Amanda & Brian working away in The Cave's office area

Russ, JB, Amy, Tom Hutchman, Amanda & Brian working away in The Cave's office area

What a diligent group!

What a diligent group!

You know, rumor has it that Tom Hutchman actually owns The Cave,... well, at least if you watch American Ninja Warrior!

You know, rumor has it that Tom Hutchman actually owns The Cave,... well, at least if you watch American Ninja Warrior!

Rumor also has it that Brian Oki is the worst one-handed painter in the world, if you listen to Amanda, anyways.

Rumor also has it that Brian Oki is the worst one-handed painter in the world, if you listen to Amanda, anyways.

There's Drey.  He looks very artistic.  Is he actually working?  I can't tell.

There's Drey. He looks very artistic. Is he actually working? I can't tell.

Looks more like he's posing to me.  Drey has a cat-like parkour grace about him.

Looks more like he's posing to me. Drey has a cat-like parkour grace about him.

Here's one with Drey working!  And.... this shot's for the ladies in the house.

Here's one with Drey working! And.... this shot's for the ladies in the house.

In the meantime Roger was busy running wires and moving his desk out of the CF area mezzanine loft.  I mainly worked on the new dyno setup for the climbing wall.  (An explanation of that coming in a subsequent blog post.)   I’d like to recognize JB Douglass, Andrey Pfening, Tom Hutchman (volunteering!), Ryder Darcy, and Travis Furlanic, for coming in and working so diligently.  Also, a special thanks to Amy Dockus,  and Amanda for staying extra late to make sure we completed the painting of the front room in the office area and to Russell Bruel for heading up the whole remodel project.   And now for the Comic relief:  Nick held a self-defense seminar on Saturday from 1-5pm (which was awesome, as usual.  You should take the next one if you haven’t yet.  Keep checking our events section on the website for the next time one is scheduled )  During one of the simulations Sally, one of our lady CrossFitters, walks in on Nick who was pretending to be a murderer and was repeatedly stabbing Sally’s friend with a (plastic) knife.  Instead of panicking, Sally straight up tackles Nick and knocks him into the wall.  I know who I want next to me when Mr. Crazy Bad Guy shows up!

So this is what happens when you take the scenarios from the self-defense seminar indoors!  Poor Nick was straight up tackled by Sandy, one of our lady CrossFitters.  That's what he gets for trying to trying to stab her friend with a knife!  Well, it was supposed to be a simulation.

So this is what happens when you take the scenarios from the self-defense seminar indoors! Poor Nick was straight up tackled by Sally. Damn girl, take it easy. It's just a simulation!

So this was about 12 hours after we had just painted and remodeled!  You can imagine the staff’s reaction when I texted them the picture of the broken wall.  Amanda’s: “Seriously…!?”  Honestly, Nick and I could not stop laughing about the whole calamity.

And here's the newly painted, then broken then patched wall.

And here's the newly painted, then broken then patched wall.

We also acquired some new equipment; I hope all of you CrossFitters have noticed it.  Well, the work at The Cave is never done.  And don’t worry, fun’s not over.  There’s more to come shortly.

Travis Furlanic Plays “Bulldog” with The Cave Kids at Kid’s Night Out

Saturday, July 21st, 2012

(more…)