Last, but definitely not least: the Third Fight.  It has been said that it’s better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.  I can’t argue with that, but what do we do if we find ourselves being judged?  The Third Fight takes place in the legal system and it may come in a variety of forms, from encountering law enforcement, to criminal court, or being on the receiving end of civil suit.  In any case, the key to winning this fight is preparation and the ability to articulate facts.

The most common manifestation of this Fight is with law enforcement.  If you ever have to defend yourself, you should definitely notify the police.  Make sure that you tell the dispatcher if you or your attacker is armed and/or injured.  When the police arrive, be calm and tell them what happened.  Tell the officers that you want to press charges against your attacker, even if you don’t think it was a big deal.  Pressing charges shows that you are the victim, rather than a participant in mutual combat.  Taking the time to make sure the incident is well documented by law enforcement will help protect you from criminal and civil liability.

Another thing that will protect you is understanding “reasonable force,” which is the force that a reasonable person would use in a similar circumstance.  Vague, I know.  Basically, this means that you shouldn’t ever escalate the violence higher than what is being used against you, or could likely be used against you by your attacker.  It also means that you won’t continue to hurt your attacker after he is no longer a threat.  Consider that there are only three things an attacker may want from you: your property, your body or your life.  If it is your property that the attacker is after, it would be difficult to justify using violence against him; just give him your money.  On the other hand, if the attacker’s motivation is to hurt you, rape you, kidnap you, etc. then use whatever force is reasonable to protect yourself.  If the attacker is trying to kill you, do whatever it takes to not die.

You should train to use reasonable force and to recognize the difference between low and high-levels of violence.  The other thing you need to be able to do is to articulate why you acted the way you did.  As long as you can honestly explain that what you did was reasonable, you have a good chance of winning the Third Fight.

Continuing our discussion on fights from last week, the Second Fight is the actual physical confrontation.  It’s the real deal: you against one or more other people who mean to do harm to you or those you care about.  There are three factors that affect the outcome of the second fight and you have control over two of them.

Fitness? Skill? I'm chalking this one up to luck.

First, is physical fitness.  This includes all ten aspects of fitness as you never know exactly what you’ll need to do in a fight.  Your opponents may be bigger or stronger than you, in which case you’ll need to use your physical advantages against them.  Remember, among combatants with similar skill levels, the one who is in better shape is more likely to win.

Skill comes second.  My sensei used to say that a fight was just a big ball of chaos and that the way to win a fight was to recognize an opportunity in that chaos, take it and use it to gain control of your opponent.  The more skilled a person is, the more opportunities he or she is able to see and exploit in a fight.  (An interesting side note, the Japanese word for a practice fight, randori, literally means, to seize out of chaos).  The more skilled a person, the greater their chances, even against a larger and more fit opponent.

Finally, luck.  That’s right, just plain dumb luck.  I always include this because it is important to remember that no matter how fit or skilled you are, your opponent always has a chance.  This helps keep me humble and reminds me not to underestimate anybody.  It’s always preferable to talk your way out of a situation, if possible, because you never know.

Another thing about real fights, they’re ugly.  It’s not like in the movies, even with skilled people.  Real fights are fast, furious and usually end up with both people wrestling on the ground.  There are no weight classes, no warm-up and no rules.  Real fights are not fair, so expect hair pulling, biting, gouging, clawing, weapons, multiple opponents and hitting below the belt; expect a dirty fight.  This is one reason why training in a combative sport, as opposed to training for unarmed combat, can be dangerous.  You will do what train to do, so make sure you’re training with the right mindset.

With strong mental preparation, you’ll win the First Fight.  With proper physical preparation, including physical fitness and self defense training, you’ll have a much better chance to protect yourself and those you care about from violence.   Next week, I’ll tell you how to win the Third Fight.